There's a rat in my house

I haven't actually seen it with my own eyes but have somehow proven it exists through an experiment. I always hear it making sounds at night, many times having mistaken it for a ghost or something like that. One night I decided to leave a cookie on the table and the next day when I woke up it was gone. It could have been many things, perhaps a wormhole sucked the cookie into another dimension or maybe a spiritual entity that enjoys midnight cookie snacks but by virtue of Occam's razor I have concluded one thing: there is a rat in my house.

vs mickey mouse

In my house in Laguna where I live some days of the week, and as you may have noticed from a previous article about getting locked out of my house, I live alone and I am confined with nothing but reading materials, a DVD player, and my reckless imagination and curiosity. And, of course, it is the latter that helped me in plotting a brilliant strategy to successfully exterminate the vermin scum.

Although many parts of my plan are classified and cannot be divulged here, I am sure you've safely assumed that it involves a thermal imaging camera (duh, what kind of plan doesn't involve that, right?). I once watched a documentary on National Geographic that rats, aside from being good swimmers, have good vision in the dark. To level the playing field, I need to be able to see through walls and look for the warmth emitted by the body of the annoying rat. But where can I find a thermal imaging camera, you ask?
amazon product
Yup, the internet. Amazon really does offer a lot of different kinds of products for a broad range of target markets, even those that are borderline weird and seemingly unnecessary. And it's not just Amazon.com, there are many other online store or buy and sell websites out there. Of course, I don't have two thousand dollars to spend for this useful gadget but it's good to know that if I did have the money, I could easily have it shipped to my house.

I can hear its fear miles away as I write this blog entry here in my other house in Alabang. The internet will destroy you (eventually). For now, I am guessing I am stuck with the traditional methods of using simple machines to make a trap or feeding it with poison. I am also planning to research what frequencies rodents are sensitive to and perhaps destroy it just with the use of sound. Ultimately, it chose the wrong house to live in. *insert evil laugh here*


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